When Toddlers Attack! #WickedWednesdays

We all know that it’s natural for toddlers to have bumps and scrapes. So far this week Bubs has whacked his head against the side of the cot whilst wriggling violently away from having his face wiped, he’s also smacked his head on a door frame and probably done some other stuff that I missed completely. But that’s all a natural part of development, ‘finding your feet’ and what not. I was prepared for that. I was less prepared for this…

I have been mauled by a one-year-old.

I have been mauled by a one-year-old.

 

Or this…

 

Actual, genuine bite marks.

Actual, genuine bite marks.

Neither of these were done in a temper. I just hadn’t cut his nails (let this be warning to you all) and for some reason he quite calmly bit me last night when I was putting on his pyjamas. It bloody hurt, as you may have deduced.

Toddlers: handle with care!

 

 

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Speaking of housework… #WickedWednesdays

Whether or not you feel a guilt-inducing obligation to do the housework due to your own indoctrination by the patriarchy, the chores have gotta get done. That, however, is difficult with a toddling person around. If they don’t want to be played with or picked up, then they inevitably decide to follow you around attempting to eat all of the crumbs and fluff and dust you’re attempting to sweep up. *gag*. So what to do?

This household’s ‘life hack’ (does anyone else detest that phrase?) is to pop Bubs into our hiking baby ruck sack – Yes, we’re that kind of family #NationalTrustForLifeBitches – This usually works a treat as he’s close to you, but not close enough to snatch the anti-bacterial spray from your hands. And, any way, he is now in the perfect position to enjoy a good hair-pulling session!

Sometimes, though, it feels slightly neglectful. I am basically ignoring him whilst tricking him into thinking he’s involved. Mum skillz!

One morning I went to the mirror to make a token funny face at him before continuing with the tasks at hand, but he was asleep! How long had he been in that neck-cricking posture? I shall never know. But, hey, at least I’d emptied the dish-washer!

Bored much?

Bored much?

 

 

 

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Wicked Wednesday! More plastic toys…

So, Bubs found a great new toy last week:

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 It was an engaging baby sensory experience!
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Then he got bored.

IMG_0791#winning
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My son, the pick pocket. #WickedWednesdays

So, what’s your child’s favourite game right now? Bubs’ is currently ’empty mummy’s handbag’. To be more specific it’s ’empty mummy’s handbag and then take all of the cards out of her purse.’ Observe:

In the act.

In the act.

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Caught red handed.

'And wot you gonna do about it??'

‘And wot you gonna do about it??’

Hmm, I really need to start putting my things in less easy to reach places!

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brummymummyof2

Best toy EVER! #WickedWednesdays

Dear Reader, just a little snapshot of life in the Few household today.

Some people buy their children fantastic toys, others play educational games and sing songs. I give my son a box of tissues for his first birthday…

But look how happy he is!

brummymummyof2

Wicked Wednesdays: this what real parenting looks like!

As I am sure you are aware the internet in packed to bursting with photos of adorable children in cute little outfits hugging each other or their parents or some other cute thing like a panda or something. There are also a lot of food pics doing the rounds. These I have less time for. Unless you’re posting the recipe I don’t want to see how much more effort you’ve made than me on a Tuesday evenings. Sozzers. Anyhoo, generally, there’s a lot of ‘I love my life’ imagery going on. Not that this is a problem, it’s just it’s not exactly representative! (see also this fab post by Hurrah for Gin on pinterest)

So, the very talented Brummymummyof2 has thought up a clever little linky (no, I had never heard of one either, google it) called Wicked Wednesdays (hashtag, natch). One day a week we are challenged to post the pics that show the grimier side of this whole childcare lark. And yes, I know I have already posted pics of my wobbly thighs and Bubs’ newborn-old man hands but, you know, this fun! So this week I’m getting involved with a couple of photos (I almost called them a ‘series of photos’ but then realised there’s only two and I’m not a pretentious arse):

Photo 1 depicts Bubs having discovered and pulled down one of my not-so-nifty changing table baskets.

Photo 1 depicts Bubs having discovered and pulled down one of my not-so-nifty changing table baskets.

Photo 2. Well, you get the picture.

Photo 2. Well, you get the picture.

As this is doubly wicked because instead of immediately removing the cotton buds from his grasp I took a photo first. And I’m not even sorry. Boom!

brummymummyof2