Always Check the Eyelashes: Your CBeebies Guide to Gender.


Ah, Cbeebies. A land filled with possibilities. Where lions and zebras can coexist as equals and trainee knights befriend cave-dwelling trolls. Where every community – even small Scottish fishing villages – is a multicultural, wheelchair-accessible beacon of diversity. Surely, this is the utopia of which we all dream?

I do love CBeebies. In fact more than this I attribute a good proportion of my parenting sanity to its existence #nojokeofalie. I love that they show women being scientists, fitness instructors, bus drivers, pirate captains, minibeast adventurers, post officers (is that a thing?), nurses, nursery teachers, cooks, stay at home mums… Ahem. Well, you get the picture.

Yes, in the realm of humans the confinements of gender have (almost, sort of) been stripped away, huzzah to that! However, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I mean, we need some stereotypes, right? Otherwise how will girls find out that they’re supposed to be pretty and bookish? Or boys that they are headstrong and brave but ultimately a bit annoying??

More importantly, how will our youngsters learn to tell the difference? Imagine, a whole generation growing up not being able to tell whether a fictional character is supposed to be a girl or a boy? It would be chaos, people. CHAOS!

But fear not, Dear Reader! For I have deciphered the CBeebies gender-coding system (it doesn’t take a genius) that will have you sorting your Peters from your Lilies in 4 easy-to-follow steps. Disseminate this PSA widely, because God forbid we couldn’t tell which Cloud Baby is supposed to be a boy! Continue reading

Dear Children, Human Rights are negotiable. #ToryLessons

This Friday will my and Hubs’ fifth wedding anniversary. Huzzah (that is, like, well long nowadays, right?). The only slight tarnish on this otherwise joyous occasion will be the fact that we are yet to be married in a time when David Cameron isn’t Prime Minster. Bleurgh.

So, five years ago I was too busy making 200+ origami butterflies to fully engage with how angry I was at the Lib Dems for going into coalition with the Tories. This time around I have no such major event-management to compete with the constant recollections that said party now have a majority. A MAJORITY?? Boo hiss, etc. The one upside to the result last time around was that my (hilarious) father could work a ‘new politics’ rose garden parody into his wedding speech. But now I don’t think any level of satire will stop me wanting to spend the next five years doing this:

Yeah, take that Cameron!

But, seriously, Dear Reader, I am super wary of all the nonsense-speak that flows from the mouths of our cabinet ministers. I am afraid of some highly questionable ideas that are becoming the status-quo, ideas that Bubs will grow up around, however much I’d like to shelter him from them. What he believes this crap?? What then?

Continue reading