*Fair warning: though there are no details at all divulged in this review, it is for a product of an adult nature, so if you know me and wish to regard me as an asexual being, look away now*
Dear Reader, I have ummed and erred over whether or not to include reviews in this blog. Since 90% of my posts are rants about the avalanche of advice that descends upon parents ‘these days’, it feels a bit hypocritical to then start telling you what and what not to buy for your kids. But, on the other hand, I quite like free stuff, and I also like being critical. Hmm. Dilemma.
Well, I have reached a decision! I will do a few reviews, but only one in a while and I won’t review baby products. Tat’s right, this ‘mummy blogger’ won’t write about kids clothes or toys or sippy cups. Dun dun deeeer! I’m only interested in reviewing things that will make your life easier or more enjoyable. Does this have the knock on effect that any free stuff I get will be for me, rather than Bubs? Well, yes, but I assure you this is a completely unintentional knock-on effect. Honest.
So, since I’m only reviewing products for adults, what better for my inaugural review than a product that is strictly for adults. *wink wink* Enter the Revel Body SOL Sonic… um… well… Vibrator.
I am now blushing intensely. *clears throat*
Why am I even writing about this??
It certainly is not my area of expertise. My knowledge of this kind of thing mostly comes from episodes of Sex in the City and giggling with my teenage friends in the basement of Ann Summers during a trip to Bluewater. (We never bought anything, God the shop assistant must have hated us.) When I saw the call out for reviewers I wasn’t really sure if I should apply. I had clicked on it thinking is sounded like some beauty gadget, only to realise it was, well, not. I read about it and thought, sod it, why not? The product sounded like lots of fun. But when the it arrived in the post I had a BIG panic. I can’t write about this, people I know read this blog. My parents read this blog! (Sorry Dad) It’s all too rude and sordid and naughty.
But is it? I am a grown woman. I am married with a child for goodness sake, I think people know I’ve done it a few times! What’s to be ashamed of? We may be mums but we can still bring sexy back! In fact, that’s exactly why we need to be bringing sexy back (this 100% possible without having to buy stuff, obvs). For many of us our bodies after childbirth just don’t feel like our own. It can be hard to relax and feel desirable again. Frankly, once a person has entered the world through your vagina it’s hard to regard it as a ‘fun’ part of your anatomy . So wanting to ‘mix it up’ with a new toy seems pretty reasonable to me. We’re all adults here, after all.
But then there is the, ahem, mechanical aspect to it. And the potentially solo aspect. The Revel Body SOL can be used for intimate moments with a partner (no comment), or alone… And women aren’t supposed to do that sort of thing. Are we? It’s 2014 but we’re still not quite as accepting of female sexuality as we should be. Don’t get me wrong, there are women being sexual in one way or another at every turn, but usually those images are serving male sexuality, not ours. Half the time this kind of portrayal makes most women (even those who fancy women) feel more insecure, not aroused. Bleurgh to that, I say.
So, I have put off writing this for a while but I finally found my nerve this weekend, a Blogfest; the Mumsnet Blogger Network conference. After a day of intimidatingly amazing panels etc, there was a drinks reception. I have SO MUCH good chat with so many women. We talked about what we wanted our blogging to be about etc. And I mentioned I was going to do a few reviews. Then, if I felt especially comfortable (or sufficiently ginned up) I would lean in and stage whisper “my first review is going to be for a vibrator.” The look of elated shock on those women’s faces was enough to encourage me to just blooming go for it!
Any way, I was also put at ease by the marketing of the Revel Body SOL; it’s just grown-up. It’s not done in a naughty or giggly way. There’s nothing titivating or embarrassed about how it’s promoted. The company say they want to ‘promote sexual wellness’ and leave at that. How very civilised.
Check out this promotional video, I love it! The way the woman behaves, this could be a demo for an electric toothbrush…
Speaking of electric toothbrushes, they are the ones to be thanked for this sonic product. The company was started by Robin Elenga, when he realised that many women were buying Sonicare toothbrushes for uses other than brushing their teeth… Apparently the higher frequency of the vibrations meant ‘faster, buzzier sensations’. Ooh, err Mrs!
More about the technical stuff that makes Revel Body so bloody good (and pricey) here. But, I suppose my job really is to tell you a bit about whether it, you know, does the job.
Well, ladies, I’ll start by saying it gives a hell of an acupressure foot massage. So that bodes well.
I won’t give you any intimate details because I’m not that kind of girl, and this isn’t that kind of website, thank you very much. But there are a few keys points I’ll leave you with…
This bad boy is waterproof! That means you can take it into the bath. Actually into the bath. All of the publicity for Revel Body promises the Best. Bath. Ever. And, you know, they’re not wrong. I’d say it’s one of the best baths I’ve ever taken alone, any way. I was so relaxed afterwards. So. Relaxed. And I’m pretty sure I got a better night’s sleep too. (this could be a coincidence, please don’t sue me if it turns out not to be a cure for insomnia)
Another advantage is that it doesn’t look rude. The Revel Body SOL looks more like a webcam than anything else. This is because they have dispensed with the, frankly terrifying, dildo bit and gone straight for the sweet spot, if you know what I mean. I also imagine that if one wanted to use it for intimate moments with your partner, then it would be rather less intimidating that the neon silicon, whirling, blobby sticks that you can find elsewhere (I googled it, but it made all freaked out, so I stopped).
Also. It works. It, like, really, frickin, works. Just so you know.
Oh, and the lovely people at RevelUK have teamed up with The Eve Appeal, a charity fighting women’s cancers and pledged to give £1 for every Revel Body SOL they sell. Not too shabby!
There’s lots of other technical stuff I could tell you and different attachments etc. But I would blush and you would be bored. Instead, I will put it in terms that most middle class people over 30 will understand: if vibrators got reviewed by Which? I’m pretty that this one would be a Best Buy! And in case of you are thinking of taking the plunge, I’ll give you a little which-style round up of the pros and cons…
Looks like a webcam, so not too embarrassing if your mother-in-law comes across it.
Waterproof = Best. Bath. Ever.
Sonic system means the intensity is subtle.
It more than does the job.
A bit pricey. I got mine for free but these babies retail at £99, which is a lot of money. However, if you’re in the market for something of this ilk then I really can’t imagine you’ll find anything more, shall we say, effective.
It’s sonic, and a bit noisier than the publicity led me to believe. But not too bad.
I don’t really know what this ‘Om frequency’ business is about. Seems like a gimmick to me.
Enjoy my friends, or don’t, it’s entirely up to you how you rock your bedroom shenanigans. But don’t be ashamed to promote a little ‘sexual wellness’ for yourself every now and then.