The Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant with her second baby. That’s really lovely, I’ve got nothing against her. I do fear for her sanity with the whole newborn-toddler combo but, you know, each to their own. Obvs, this has caused a twitter explosion and seeing as I’m becoming increasingly embedded in the mummy-blogger scene my feed has been chock-a-block with comments such as “always lovely news” and “hope it’s a princess!” Of course there were also hilarious responses including, if I may say so, my own above (but no, you can read some really good ones here, you just have to scroll past the politicians).
What isn’t really lovely is that Kate (if I may call Her Highness that) has ‘acute morning sickness’ again, bless her. In fact that’s the only reason we know about the pregnancy; because she’s too ill to attend to her Royal duties. Now, I didn’t suffer from hyperemesis gravidarum (to use the proper medical term) but from what I gather calling it ‘acute morning sickness’ is a bit like calling a hurricane a ‘severe breeze’. It just doesn’t cut it. So, amidst all of the excitement (which, as you can see from above, I’m not that into) I’m wondering whether Kate is feeling much like celebrating at all.
I remember feeling like crap in the early days of my pregnancy. And when I say ‘the early days’, what I actually mean is the first 20 weeks (bloody ‘second trimester’ rubbish). I also remember all of the awkward questions people suddenly feel it’s okay to ask you. My favourite being, “was it planned?” Erm, sorry, WTF?? Since when did work colleagues feel it was appropriate to ask me if my baby was an accident?? And what if I said ‘no, actually, and I’m terrified’, what would they have done then, hey? Hey??
Another frequently asked question was ‘Are you happy’? Again, this is not something anyone would normally ask you whilst standing in the foyer of a church over a cuppa, or in the sandwich queue at work. There is only one socially acceptable answer to that particular question. So I would stand there, feeling like I wanted to vom due to the close proximity of a hitherto inoffensive smell, or so tired that I wanted to cry despite the fact it was not yet noon, and I’d muster up my sweetest smile and say ‘Yes, I’m thrilled’. Now, in the grand scheme of things, that was definitely true. I’ve wanted to be a mum every since I was a bit older than a baby. But at that precise moment, no, I wasn’t happy. I felt like crap. But we can’t say that can we? We all have to be ‘immensely thrilled’. Bleurgh.
Have you seen Prince William’s press statement? Have a look:
Now if that isn’t Royal-speak for ‘F off’, I don’t know what is. He’s basically saying ‘My wife is feeling awful, she’s not even 12 weeks pregnant yet, and yeah it’s nice in the long run, but can I go and look after her?? Oh, and I forgot to mention I’ve got a son who’s just old enough to realise mummy is ill, so, you know, I’m not really into standing in front of you all smiling right now’.
My favourite line of all is definitely “It’s important that we all focus on the big news, the big international and domestic things that are going on at the moment. That’s what my thoughts are at the moment.” So, if I decode that one for you I think it translates as “Scotland is seceding! There’s another Gulf War looming. Leave us alone and report some real news!” Okay guys, even Prince William is telling you to get a life/take an interest in politics, and I think it’s time you obeyed your future king.
So Kate and Wills, and anyone else who is currently in the early stages of pregnancy (like, loads of people, some of whom will have tried for years) I offer you many congratulations and a few commiserations. Because your entire body readjusting to another being living in it is, well, a bit much sometimes.
That’s all old chaps. Toodle Pip!